


I Love You(But We Are Better At Being Friends)

by ricca



Series: Stories Not Told In The Two Films [1]
Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Post-Star Trek: Into Darkness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-30
Updated: 2014-04-30
Packaged: 2018-01-21 10:29:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,152
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1547405
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ricca/pseuds/ricca
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Where Spock and Uhura break up, for good reasons. Pre K/S.<br/></p>
            </blockquote>





	I Love You(But We Are Better At Being Friends)

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: i sadly do not own Star trek.(hmm.. I wonder... Maybe if I get rich enough i can buy just Jim and Spock, not star trek and then i can make them official. That would be awesome :p)
> 
> This story was inspired by the song Honest by The Neighbourhood. 
> 
> I wrote this fic in a combination of two styles i came across in two separate K/S fics a month ago, when i actually started writing this, so i'm not sure if it works well. 
> 
> I should've posted it earlier but I broke my laptop and dad was away so his iPad was with him.
> 
> Also, the teeny-meeny medical part in this fic? All imagined and probably inaccurate, but just roll with it, yeah?
> 
> It's unbeta'd so there will probably be errors.

"I wish you could be honest with me, Spock. " Nyota said, her hand curved along his right cheek.

 

*****

 

Uhura shot Khan as he was trying to crush Spock's head. She was fucking pissed at him and cursed the fact that they needed him alive, otherwise she could have set her phaser to kill instead of stun. Khan had already succeeded in killing her Captain—her best friend's most important person—and was now attempting to kill said best friend. Once she had finally distracted Khan enough to stop him from killing Spock, it was Spock who was attempting to end Khan's life.

She screamed at Spock to **_Spock stop, you'll kill him_**. Then she remembered why she had broken up with him and decided to use different tactics. She asked him to stop again but this time saying the only thing which had any chance of piercing the angry haze clouding Spock's logic, and registering in his mind. **_He's our only chance to save Kirk._**

She watched with satisfaction as Spock punched Khan one last time, inflicted pain upon him as Khan had inflicted upon her Captain and friend. She almost smiled, finally seeing proof that when she had broken up with Spock, her decision had been correct. They beamed onto the Enterprise.

 

****

 

Nyota watched as Spock held Jim over the navigation console, as his hand clenched harder, _harder_ around Jim's throat, as Jim's face became redder and redder. She wanted to call out to him, stop him from doing something he would later regret, but she couldn't and didn't understand why. Finally he withdrew, 2.3 seconds after his dad called to him.

It was only later, as they were making plans to defeat Nero and Spock walked in to offer his services for invading the Narada, that she finally had time to analyse why she hadn't stopped him while he was choking Jim. It was because she knew that not only was it already too late—as his loss of control by itself was going to cause him much regret—but also that any attempts made by her would be in vain as he would not hear her. She made a decision then, which would be effective immediately. However now was not the appropriate time to inform Spock of said decision because besides them being in the middle of a high-risk important mission, Spock was—as he had finally admitted after almost chocking the living daylights out of Kirk—emotionally compromised.

She wondered whether there would ever be an appropriate time and they would all not just die. Then she looked at Kirk's face, lines of determination etched on it, and she knew that if they had any chance of coming out of this alive Jim would get them out of it. Afterall, he was the one who beat the unbeatable Kobiyashi Maru and though he won it by unconventional means,by cheating— ** _Academic Dishonesty_** —that was exactly what they needed—who they needed—to beat this situation. To cheat death, because unlike what Spock thought— ** _A Captain cannot cheat death_** —Uhura was sure that if no Captain could do so, one James T. Kirk could.

She went to the transporter room to send Spock off, and gave him a peck on the lips and believed he would come back, because this was Spock.Besides, he was going with _Jim_ , who had changed the parameters of the Kobiyashi Maru not just enough to win, but to save all of the simulated ship's crew. He wouldn't let Spock die. _She_ wouldn't let Spock die, would monitor him.

She was sure Spock was wondering why she had only given him a kiss which would for him equate to one given in friendship but would think that it was because she was respecting his boundaries. It was probably best for him to think that.

****

Spock regulated his walking speed to a normal one as he walked to the park Nyota had called him to—a park they had frequented when they wanted to spend time just conversing, as they had found it to be quite secluded. He knew that whatever she was going to tell him could not be good. However, he did not want to lose her as a friend, considering he had only her and would not like to lose her after losing his mother and entire planet. If he was being a little selfish, he was sure he could be forgiven, considering the extenuating circumstances. It also helped that they had always been each other's friend before lover and Nyota had always encouraged him _It's okay to be a little selfish, Spock. Afterall, I'm your friend, not just girlfriend, and I **want** you to be selfish with me. _

He saw Nyota sitting on a bench, facing towards him. She rose as she saw him approach. "Spock. " she said, a small smile on her face.

"Nyota. " Spock replied, tilting his head a little in acknowledgement as he came to a stop two feet away from her. He wasn't sure if physical proximity would be appreciated at this moment, so he didn't move any closer.

"I needed to talk to you. " Nyota said, looking directly into Spock's eyes. Spock wanted to tell her that he already knew that and that he was aware that logically, at this park there was no other reason for which he would be called, but kept quiet because he was aware the she may perceive it be him 'sassing' her—he still wanted her as a friend because he was now sure, having seen her less than radiant smile, that she had called him to talk about less-than-pleasant matters.

"Spock, I think you already know why I called you here. " Nyota said, giving him a calculating look.

"Affirmative" Spock said. This was another reason. They would be meeting at either of their homes, if things were still the same between them.

Nyota walked forward on hearing his reply, placing her right hand on his cheek. "I wish you could be honest with me, Spock. "

 

****

 

Spock's hands were balled into tight fists behind his back. They clenched so hard that the barely avoided drawing blood. The three conscious occupants of the room stared anxiously at the Biofunction monitor displaying the Captain's vital signs—Dr. McCoy from his place beside Jim's biobed and Uhura and Spock from their position near the foot of the biobed.

McCoy had set the broken bones in their original position, had brought Jim out of stasis and had, 2 minutes ago, attached an IntraVenous drip consisting of Khan's blood mixed with medicines to the median vein of Jim's right hand. The only thing to do now was wait.

A smile broke out on Uhura's face and McCoy muttered _"Goddamnit kid, you must have enamoured some omnipotent being. "_ with a soft expression on his face, as the the red bars of Jim's vitals began to fall slowly. They soon went to green levels, as Jim's DNA and cells started to repair.

Spock's hands unclenched and came to rest by his side.

 

****

 

Spock listened as Nyota told him "I wish you could be honest with me Spock." He wanted to say that he never lied to her, but he knew what she meant, so he did not interrupt her.

"But I don't know for sure that when it comes your emotional state , you are ever honest to yourself either, so I can't hold that against you. " she continued.

"The real problem was something which I subconsciously already knew, but I had been in denial about, because I didn't want to lose you. I was forced to face the problem Spock, when you were asphyxiating Kirk on the bridge. "

Spock kept his face neutral, but internally he wanted to scream in agony. Even Nyota, who was his friend and would be his ex-girlfriend in approximately the next 10 minutes found him an incompetent Vulcan due to his actions on the Bridge. _Obviously_. How could _she_ not, when he _himself_ condoned his actions on the Bridge. He had failed as a Vulcan. His childhood bullies—only one of whom survived now—were right.

But then he felt Nyota's affection for him through the hand on his face. He had an epiphany. Nyota had foresaw that his thoughts might take such a turn and had purposely left her hand on his face, to disprove any such thoughts. She was truly exceptional.

"Spock, I don't reach you. On the bridge I could not stop you—never even spoke out your name, unlike your father. I later realised that I didn't stop you because I knew that whatever I said wouldn't register in such a situation, for I am just not important enough for that to happen."

Spock wanted to assure Nyota that she was important, but he knew that she was important only on a level slightly above the that of a friend, while the level Nyota was implying was nearer to that of a T'hy'la. He did not want to lie.

"The thing, Spock, is that we were always each other's friend before lover. I know that you not being honest with yourself or me about your emotional state can only mean that you neither accept yourself fully nor are sure that I will, if you ever did show me all of yourself. However, I doubt that you will ever trust me enough to show me everything. As your friend, I want you to be with someone who can make you accept yourself, who you trust implicitly with all of yourself."

"I love you Spock, certainly, but we don't work for each other, we are better as friends. Never think that you weren't good enough, we both were were wrong for each other in that way." She said, smiling at him gently. 

Sincerity, love and mild sorrow were the last feelings Spock received from Nyota as her hand left his face.

Finally he spoke, "I realise I am being selfish and asking too much from you. Afterall, humans generally require an adjustment period after terminating a relationship, in which they do not associate with the person who they were in said relationship with, however, will you remain my friend?"

Spock watched as Nyota's expression reflected exasperation. "Spock, in all that I said just now, did I not mention that I was doing it all because you are my friend before lover? Multiple times? Sometimes you act like an idiot even though you are a genius. Obviously we are still friends. And as I've told you in the past, you can be selfish all you want. " she told him fondly.

"I would not ask this, but my curiosity gets the better of me: If you realised that you were going to terminate our relationship, why did make public displays of affection when I was going on board the Narada?" Spock asked, an eyebrow raised, unable to understand why she kissed him if she had plausibly decided to terminate the relationship in the aftermath of—ah, it is still highly unpleasant and disconcerting to think about it, quite logically then, he will not think about it. 

"That Spock, was not a romantic display by Vulcan standards, I would have held your hand if it was a romantic gesture. That PDA was because I wanted to dissuade Kirk from hitting on me anymore. " Nyota said, smirking.

"So, I'm hungry. Come with me to this café I found?" She asked him.

"That is agreeable. "

 

****

 

Nyota flopped down beside Spock on the bench he sat upon in a secluded area of Starfleet Medical and handed him a coffee which he accepted with a raised eyebrow.

"You require some form of sustenance. Drink that for now. " she told him, raising an eyebrow right back at him.

They sat there in silence for a while—the silence not a tense one anymore unlike an hour ago; Jim was healing now.

Then Nyota spoke. "You love him don't you?"

"Yes." Spock replied simply—he neither wished to deny it, nor did denying it serve any purpose. Not in a conversation with Nyota.

"Spock, remember what I said when we broke up a year ago?"

He remained silent, knowing it to be a rhetoric question. She knew about the perfect memory Vulcans possessed. 

"He is the one Spock. He makes you accept yourself. He's been there for you even when you rebuffed him, he's always been able to reach you. You know Spock, when you were fighting Khan, i made two attempts to make you stop, then I remembered the bridge incident and realised that the only thing which had a chance of reaching you was something relating to our dear Captain. So I said his name. And you heard me."

Spock turned to look at her and saw her head thrown back, a smile decorating it and her eyes closed

"When he wakes up, tell him, ok? "

 

****


End file.
